Where to Begin

So its been a while since the last time i gave an update to my life...and sooooo much has happened!!!

I still have a boyfriend who i have been with for a month...but im no longer into our relationship....our chemistry isnt there anymore and we hardly see each other now...I cant say he is doing something wrong thats why its like this because he isnt doing anything wrong..i just feel like im wasting his time because even though we got together because we both wanted the same thing out of a relationship...but i dont want them with him...

Truth is...im still madly in love with my ex and i cant get over him...honestly i dont think i want to..but how can i just give up on wat me and my bf have to try to go back to something that might not be there...i just cant give up on my ex because our history is sooo strong and so is our love..im just tryin now to gain his trust again since i was the reason we ended anyway...Everytime i think back to how we were i cant do anything but smile and cry because thats the only dude i know that loved me whole-heartedly and never did anything to hurt me and to know i gave up on all of that because i was selfish...

But now theres this other guy who is trying to persue me but he knows about my bf....he however doesnt know about my ex...but this dude is really sweet and it seems he really has my best interest at heart but i cant get into anythig setrios with him because it wouldnt be fair to him because he wouldnt have all of me....and i cant give him all of me even if i tried......

So now im stuck between a rock and a hard place.................

But on a better note i recently got another job!! its not a job that i would picture myself having but its money n the pocket so its better than nothing....just saving up so i can go out with my girls for spring break....CANT WAIT!!!!

For some reason I feel like i need to go on a honesty spill and just let everything i feel out to the people that need to know...so ima do that and ill give u all an update to the reactions..