Unmasking my feelings

Too many thoughts to sleep....

On the phone with this guy i call my *bf* but this conversation is different for some reason. I was with him earlier today for about 30 mins or so but our time together is never really long even though i have a car and all he works and stuff so its hard to see him all the time..we just got back together and i feel this time will be different from the first time because he tld me he realizes now tht he really does like me thts why he wanted to be with me..

I think after today i realize that its okay to let my guard down so to speak because he has let his down and i realize i really do like him too. I realize tht he is sooo diffeerent from all the other dudes i have gone with because he is so honest with me all the time whether i want to hear it or not.. it took him a while to show me he cares and honestly i thought he never would but im glad he did so now i dont have to hide how i feel anymore..

i dont want to say too much about how i feel because i dont want to put myself out there too much...just hopes he reads it and feels the same way...........

Masking Feelings

Im the type of person to always mask how i feel for the fear that people will ask me about it and i wil have to explain and thts hard for me to do when i hardly know why i feel the way i do most of the time...im the type of person tht laughs at everything cries for nothing and wants to be alone most of the time..i have few friends because i grow out of people quickly...sometimes i feel as though im never seen the way i want to be seen and for the most part thts okay with me cause i dont live for other people but i dont want to be miscommunicated either...

It's Gettin Hard These Days

Let me startb off by lettin u kno who i am...im precia and im 17 years old..i have a lil sister and brother tht i claim and 2 more sisters tht idk....but anyway lets get to the rea; reason im writing this...when i was 2 i was in a car accident with my older sister, my mama, aunt and 3 cousins...my sister at the time was 4 and she died of cardiac arrest in the accident...so u could say i never really got the chance to know her but from the stories i hear we had a very deep connection at such a young age...well now its been 15 years since she died and i cant help but wonder wat things would be like if she were still here...her birthday is in a few days and for the past couple of years the whole month of december has been a hard month for me to handle not being able to be near or close to her the way i want to...i wrote a poem about her last year called my long lost best freind because i felt we wouldve been best friends is she were still here...but like people always tell me she's with me in my heart and i know she's smiling down on me from heaven but it doesnt really make it any easier to deal with...